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Guest pipeorgan89

Hi. I'm new here, and I'd be happy to share my thoughts about this topic. I'm 18, male, and gay, FWIW.

There certainly are older guys who wish to be with younger guys. The same is true in the straight community -- many middle-aged men enjoy looking at young women in magazines like Playboy and Penthouse, etc., and the roots of the saying "that's the thing I love about high school girls -- I keep getting older, they stay the same age" are rather self-evident here.

HOWEVER, I don't think there's a lot of reciprocation with this (younger guys who want to be with older guys). Sure, there's some. There are also some people who like to have sex with dogs and goats. Both are certainly minorities. All the high-school and college age folks I've met -- male and female -- want to have sex with people their own age, not people old enough to be their parents or grandparents. Most people, myself included, are grossed out by that thought.

It's certainly true that everyone has their own tastes -- not everyone is attracted to the same things -- but there is a norm/majority. Most people prefer folks who are younger (late teens/20s/early 30s), fit, cute/sexy, etc. -- not folks who are old, fat, pasty, wrinkled, bald, covered in liver spots, etc. And much as people who are old and fat may think that that's unfair, it's just reality, and life never has been nor ever can or will be fair. You can't choose who you're attracted to, and the general image of beauty is pretty widely-shared. As an example: ask 100 folks off the street to picture a hot magazine-cover bod. They're going to say things like "tanned", "6-pack abs", "muscular", "athletic", 'fit", "young", etc -- not "belly flab", "hairy liver spots", "AARP card", etc.

It's understandable that older folks are attracted to younger folks. I would imagine that when I'm old, I'll still think fit college-age guys are far hotter than fat old men. However, as I said, I don't think there are nearly as many young folks attracted to old folks, as vice versa. I think horny/lonely old men, in discussions like this one, exaggerate the percentage of young guys attracted to old men. Just because you want there to be a lot of hot young guys attracted to you, doesn't mean there are. Just because you say over and over -- insist, speak with forceful words and excess modifier adverbs like 'very', etc. -- that there are lots of young guys attracted to old guys...that doesn't make it true. And hot young people do NOT have some sort of responsibility to provide sexual equality for fat and/or old people. We're not obligated to make you feel better about the fact that you're old and/or fat, and therefore widely considered sexually unappealing. That's just too bad for you. If someone wants to have sex with you, great. If they don't, they don't. Again, life never has been nor ever can or will be fair.

Ultimately, too, old folks who are attracted to young folks need to follow the base expectation -- if someone doesn't reciprocate your feelings, that's the end. Like if you're gay and have a crush on someone who's straight, that's the end -- there's no way around that impasse. If you're old and attracted to a young person, and they're not attracted to you, then that's the end. "No" means NO, and you have absolutely no right to pursue it further.

In addition, I would like to briefly state that I strongly disagree with the notion that there's something wrong with thinking that old men crushing on young guys is gross/sick/pedophilic/etc. I personally happen to believe that, and I'm not ashamed to say it. I disagree with the notion that I'm somehow a bad and/or closed-minded and/or hateful person, just because I don't accept everyone and all points of view. That's an ideal which is impossible to achieve, and I think it's rather misguided. We all have opinions on things, and if we want our opinions respected by others then we need to respect their opinions in return. If you're going to say that you're an open-minded person, then you need to be open-minded to EVERYONE -- including people who you consider closed-minded. You can't hold a double-standard, if you expect to have any shred of credibility and to be taken seriously. So I'm entitled to hold and to express my opinion that it's disgusting for old men to go after young guys for sex, just as you're entitled to hold and express your opinion that it's not. And I refuse to be shamed into silence about my opinion, on the misguided grounds that it's somehow closed-minded. My opinion is not less-sophisticated or less-evolved or less-enlightened than yours, just because you disagree with it. That's the whole definition of an "opinion". There is no "right" or "wrong", just a personal gut feeling. And to everyone else who has run into this same issue, remember this: if someone tries to tear down your opinion, it's because they don't want it standing, because they're scared of it. They feel it threatens their own opinion. The more they fight against it, the more scared they are that there's some truth in it. Remember that no one's opinion is better than anyone else's -- that's what makes it an opinion.

Over and out.

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my boys luv chillin wit their Daddy.  Have lost track of how many younger and they keep cumming

Maybe, if you were dating someone younger than 18 you could go to school with them and learn how to construct a sentence which isn't a paragraph long..  That post was ridiculous regardless. 

speak for yourself. i don't dress my age, act my age, i play computer games, i can skate, and ride bmx (although a bit rusty) lol

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I am sure glad that we are getting the reactions that I had expected.. its a valid thought for sure.. and each and every one of us has an opinion and that is to be respected..

thank you so much all of you for your reactions..

being an older guy that likes younger guys and have had a relationship with a younger guys I can tell you that it works completely both way..

there are many younger guys who are into older for the maturity level etc.. and many younger guys who would not want to be with their "father" etc..

However as you can see from the posts.. there are many different positions to this question and we all have to just respect each others opinions and go with the flow..

I know that I prefer the younger set.. but I also want to be with someone younger that PREFERS to be with older.. seems to work better..

as a older many I would NEVER go for under age people.. I prefer a guy who knows where he is sexually and where he wants to be.. IF that younger person prefers his own age then I must respect that as well.. but I find that anyone that would say that its gross has never had the opportunity to be with someone that they might love.. but I do respect it ..

the old saying.. TRY IT if you like it.. and go back if you still do applys here..

DONT KNOCK IT TILL YOU TRY IT.. and DONT KNOW THEM THAT DO..

thanks again people.. I do appreciate your input here.. and hope that we call all respect eather others opinions and likes and dislikes..

thanks again..

Maverick311 SITE ADMIN..

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well as long as people r the legal age and r into older dudes or vice versa then let it's all good, "LEGAL" being the operative word here..

I think that most of the conversation here has been about LEGAl age for sure..

most of us who are into younger MEN.. are refering to legal ones..

I am sure there are other ones out there.. WHICH I DONT AGREE WITH.. but i am sure they are there..

My question was regarding legal age younger guys for sure..

Maverick311

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Well as I'm 73 I guess nearly everyone is younger! lol Not that I am looking for a partner - I have one. But when I was 21 I had sex with people who were 35 or so and it didn't seem gross to me. But I have to admit that if a young man told me he found me attractive I'd doubt him and wonder whether he was after something.

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Guest jcroce1994
do you think that it is a good thing that there are a lot of younger guys who would prefer to be with older men..

and do you think that older men would prefer younger to keep their youth.. or ???

Speaking as an older guy myself, I find that younger guys come looking for me, not the other way around. I'm always surprised by guys under 25 who find me attractive. And I do prefer younger guys, so I'm NOT complaining.

Older guys are more stable emotionally, financially, socially. We have houses, cars, sometimes a bit of money. And we tend to be more accepting than younger guys. Not as judgemental. So young guys who feel insecure or alone or rejected by guys their own age, look to an older guy for security. It's not always about sex or appearance. Sometimes it's just about needing to be loved and appreciated. And for that, age really doesn't matter.

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Speaking as an older guy myself, I find that younger guys come looking for me, not the other way around. I'm always surprised by guys under 25 who find me attractive. And I do prefer younger guys, so I'm NOT complaining.

Older guys are more stable emotionally, financially, socially. We have houses, cars, sometimes a bit of money. And we tend to be more accepting than younger guys. Not as judgemental. So young guys who feel insecure or alone or rejected by guys their own age, look to an older guy for security. It's not always about sex or appearance. Sometimes it's just about needing to be loved and appreciated. And for that, age really doesn't matter.

thats the way to say it.. and so true.. thanks for your input..

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Guest ctfitman

I personally find that I certainly feel younger when mixing it up with younger guys and have no problem with relationships between fairly big age gaps. I am presently dating a guy who is plenty younger (above 18) than I am, but I am careful not to push him into doing anything he doesn't want to do. But I find that he is often the driving force in the relationship and he doesn't want to date guys his own age.

So, I guess it take all types, and to each his own. Only judge what you understand or have experienced yourself.

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I personally find that I certainly feel younger when mixing it up with younger guys and have no problem with relationships between fairly big age gaps. I am presently dating a guy who is plenty younger (above 18) than I am, but I am careful not to push him into doing anything he doesn't want to do. But I find that he is often the driving force in the relationship and he doesn't want to date guys his own age.

So, I guess it take all types, and to each his own. Only judge what you understand or have experienced yourself.

thanks for your input.. I happen to agree with you..

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Guest onno_algarve

Think has all to do with respect, in whatever relationship. As long nobody gets hurt and both get what they want. Hey, isn't it a good feeling to share life experience with somebody who's younger and see him learning of that?

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  • 7 months later...
No, I 100% don't think that young guys should be with old(er) guys. And I know there are a few, but not a lot.

Older guys who choose younger guys are just pedophiles in my point of view. It is way more (and different) then to keep their youth. So, no.

Geesh, we need to get the peeps who hate gays in here to clean up this mess. They will not only think a younger guy with an older guy is sick and repulsive, but a man with another man totally wrong and it should be illegal.

The logic and wording some of these younger guys are using, sounds really familiar to the religious rights crapolla against gays. Do we want to start having laws to say a younger guy should not be able to have a relationship with an older guy? where do we start? A 99 year old can not date a 70 year old?

This could suck, if we would think this through, we would have laws against older and younger hetros too, anna nicole's fame would not have exploded........we woulda missed all that fun

New topic: should we stop a presidential hopeful from picking a younger vp?

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Guest BigMike513
Geesh, we need to get the peeps who hate gays in here to clean up this mess. They will not only think a younger guy with an older guy is sick and repulsive, but a man with another man totally wrong and it should be illegal.

The logic and wording some of these younger guys are using, sounds really familiar to the religious rights crapolla against gays. Do we want to start having laws to say a younger guy should not be able to have a relationship with an older guy? where do we start? A 99 year old can not date a 70 year old?

This could suck, if we would think this through, we would have laws against older and younger hetros too, anna nicole's fame would not have exploded........we woulda missed all that fun

New topic: should we stop a presidential hopeful from picking a younger vp?

Your next to last paragraph says something, Jace. When the same rules apply to the heteros among us, I'll think about listening to the older/younger arguments! I see it as mainly a generational thing,one in which personal preference (NOBODY ELSES'S BUSINESS!!!) is the largest factor. Who are we to condemn someone for who they love, or desire to spend the rest of their lives with? When I was 14, I was lusting after the college crowd, and even one of my dad's friends! No, nothing ever happened, and yeah, it was hormones running wild. . .but I've known for a fact since I was 5 that I liked looking at older guys better than boys my own age. I've had experiences with younger dudes, and that's fine and was a lot of fun. At what point do we quit worrying about who's ******* who??? If an 18 year old dude wants to be with a 30+ guy, who cares? People will assume that the older guy put the make on the younger guy and seduced him, but I know for a fact that it works the other way, too!

And to Brandon, I respect your opinion and your right to express it here. But please don't issue a blanket condemnation on those couples who have found happiness with someone who is younger/older by several or more years. This is just ONE factor in developing a relationship. . .and a minor one at that, if everything else is perfection!

Peace to all who read this.

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  • 1 year later...
Guest Dillon

it's been a year since the last post here. So I am going to bring this back alive as this is a very interesting (and yet somewhat touchy) subject.

But I do have to come clean and express a few things and tell a story that backs up my reasoning's.

I basically am growing up without a father... basically hes in prison right now for statutory rape. He's a "true pedo". He being 40 something left my mom and hooked up with some 14 year old girl who he had sex with... That's all I need to say on that subject.

Now with that being said, I am strongly opposed to older men hooking up with WAY younger people whether they'd be other boys / girls. I dont give a **** if they're not underaged either. Now I wont say it's perverted, but I think it's absolutely disgusting for some 60 year old going out with a 20 year old, a 40 year old hooking up with an 18 year old, etc. Now, a few years below is fine and all, that's cool.

older people like jace, bigmike on SW... you all are cool though. I dont have any problems with you all.

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wow, that was powerful and highly true. Though i had to give you credit, I understand your point of view. Some guys just have an oestrus and don't know what to do but to unleash their desires on whatever they want. So as long as I stay in a magniloquence, with (he knows who), all is okay!!!!

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Well Dilion that story bout your dad is sad, it should be hard to live that. I hope you still end up being a good guy tough.

Now with that being said, I am strongly opposed to older men hooking up with WAY younger people whether they'd be other boys / girls. I dont give a **** if they're not underaged either. Now I wont say it's perverted, but I think it's absolutely disgusting for some 60 year old going out with a 20 year old, a 40 year old hooking up with an 18 year old, etc. Now, a few years below is fine and all, that's cool.

I can't agree more. It's absolutely disgusting. Altough I've seen people complaining about a few years of difference which is the other extreme, which isn't good either. I guess a 20% margin of one's age is okay as a difference or something like that. I also saw another formula that says to take the older's age, divide it by 2 and add 7 to find the minimum age of the other. It seems to work pretty well.

It's also ridiculous something like 20/17 is considered pedo, but 60/18 isn't considered pedo. WTF ??

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wow, that was powerful and highly true. Though i had to give you credit, I understand your point of view. Some guys just have an oestrus and don't know what to do but to unleash their desires on whatever they want. So as long as I stay in a magniloquence, with (he knows who), all is okay!!!!

awww that sounds so sweet :P hes lucky obviously :D

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No, I mean IMO it's not good that a couple are a big difference of age, it doesn't matter who hooked who, not does it matter if they're homo or hetero.

So what do you propose? Should we maybe make a law, then have police on the street in bars and clubs and trolling the internet to make sure this does'nt happen?

I guess it would be all over with my hott 21 yo boy Aaron, who calls me constant and wants me to come over and sag and play in the shower with him... :( nd my new boy James who drops by when my bf is away.... Oh and Jake the college boy and his friend(i forget his name) who clings all over me when I go over to the pub? its gonna suckk....

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i agree in a way with jace. i mean if the younger boy is keen on the older man then thats the choice of that young guy. I too, for some reason, have had sex with much younger guys, and they came on to me! Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm irresistable to young guys, but if they like me enough to come on to me then that's how it is. I personally don't see anything wrong with big age gaps, it's old men persistantly hassling young guys without their consent that's the issue.

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