Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Guest UBCsagger

Yea dude, you're born some way or another.

I've fluctuated between straight and gay, as in, I like doing things with chicks and dudes, so I consider myself bi. Pretty plain and simple.

I also think part of sexuality is what you identify with. Like, I don't identify with gay people (they're great an all, but I don't consider myself one of them) but I know I'm not totally straight, so I just setting on ******* anything that moves and being bi! Its not really that bad.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I would have called myself straight. Then a guy hit on me once and I thought 'what the heck, I'll give it a go'.

He screwed me and I never looked back. Maybe the feelings of love came after, maybe I was always gay. But one c**k up my ass and I was hooked for good! I loved the feeling and that was it for a while, but the longer I spent with Mattie, the more my feelings deepened for the other stuff too. Then I was not only hooked on sex, but hooked on him and him being my boyfriend.

We've been together 3 years and are going to get a CP.

That was my journey. Maybe destiny had its way, who knows?

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I knew I was gay before I knew what it all meant and what some people's attitudes to it were. I guess I was pretty comfortable with my sexuality before I had to deal with what it meant for other people... But what I am saying is, some guys just 'know' and that's it, some guys take longer to get around to dealing with it or even thinking about it. If you try it with a guy, it doesn't always mean you are gay or bi, it can just be that you have some doubt and want to satisfy your curiosity. Whatever you end up being, remember it's basically the same for everyone... You don't turn gay anymore than I can turn straight. Eventually you work out whatever is right for you.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

@bieberboi: I guess in your case you can still imagine yourself finding the perfect woman and also feel ready to have sex with her. To me, it makes you bisexual, but now in a stable gay relationship.

You can be sure about it that there are a lot of guys just the opposite; discovered the woman of their life, but with the possibility that they can meet the most fabulous guy with who they even would be able to have sex.

For me, I can't imagine myself having sex with a woman.

Edited by silkysag
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

The closer I get to Mattie though, the less and less I can see myself with a woman. I agree this may make me Bi, but I don't really do labels. I can't imagine not having a guy with me, the concept of a gay relationship seems more 'normal' to me now than a heterosexual one.

I also need intend to leave Mattie...

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think we are all born asexual and then we turn to something else at the age of 14 or so.

Mmmh, the most recent theories and research tend to indicate that you're rather born bisexual and tend to go for the species survival's best choice, which is heterosexual. With always this little special different percentage that makes all the spice of it ^^

Link to post
Share on other sites

@Cosmoboy: To be honest, I'm not very happy with that theorie. It suggests that everyone has a choice and that people chose to be gay. Which means that you can 'change', 'convince' or 'cure' them.

With all respect for all bisexuals, I do know for myself that I don't have that choice. I'm simply not capable of being sexually turned on by a woman.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

@Cosmoboy: To be honest, I'm not very happy with that theorie. It suggests that everyone has a choice and that people chose to be gay. Which means that you can 'change', 'convince' or 'cure' them.

With all respect for all bisexuals, I do know for myself that I don't have that choice. I'm simply not capable of being sexually turned on by a woman.

Hey, I totally see what you mean and I'm sorry I used the word choice, you're totally right with that. I meant that those theories, mostly based on psychology and development theories, tend to be a bit less radical than "you're born this or that, and it's carved in stone", that life is a bit more souple, and that the vast majority tends to develop attraction for what is simply a necessity for the species to reproduce and grow. I didn't mean that there is a choice that the individual can make.

Sorry, hope you get me better :)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Body changes and personal development defines the person you become as an adult. I don't believe for one sec being born gay is even possible.

There can be many factors -

* Genes - Me uncle's gay so was i destined to be?

* Upbringing - i had a father who worked 24/7. Is he the reason?

* Siblings - being the youngest i didn't get enough attention. Is that my fault?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Body changes and personal development defines the person you become as an adult. I don't believe for one sec being born gay is even possible.

There can be many factors -

* Genes - Me uncle's gay so was i destined to be?

* Upbringing - i had a father who worked 24/7. Is he the reason?

* Siblings - being the youngest i didn't get enough attention. Is that my fault?

I think the answer (if there is only one) is a subtle mix of it all. I think there's something deffo happening while you're still inside your mother, and studies made on pregnant women exposed to extreme stress tend to show that the hormon system's disturbances related to it have an impact on the foetus development, and possibly in the determination of the orientation. I think it's really realted to your direct surroundings, and your father being away (like my mother being over-present) can explain a lot of things too.

In a way, I kinda like it too that everything can't be explained, and that desire stays this mysterious and fascinating thing ! I just wish people saw more that being gay, straight, bi, trans or anyting is so much of a detail after all and not a threat. But that's another debate...

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

You haaaad to include lady gaga and katie perry... didn't you...

It's interesting reading all of your perspectives, and honestly, I don't know even what to say. It's very insightful.

But dude, with so many better songs to express individuality, you choose those two... *smh* lol

Link to post
Share on other sites
Mmmh, the most recent theories and research tend to indicate that you're rather born bisexual and tend to go for the species survival's best choice, which is heterosexual. With always this little special different percentage that makes all the spice of it ^^

I can't belive a bit of this theory.

First of all, we were born asexual. As a kid, you didn't want to have sex, period. Nor did you care about it. In fact I think I remember the first time I understood what having sex was I found it completely disgusting and I'd think I'd never do such a thing ! Neededless to say I have changed (at least on this part), so yes, we change during our lives.

Then, specie's survival is the very last reason I'd be interested in a girl !! With 8 billion people there is no hope lack of reproduction could place humanity in danger. I'd be more afraid about famine, global warming, war, nulear catastrophes, and overal inability to any individual to survive by his own in the nature in this respect. But this is completely unrelated.

I won't debate about the choice part because this has already be done and I have nothing to add.

Last of all I don't think it's completely impossible to someone to "become gay", but I think it's definitely not common. It's more probable that people would be gay from their teenage (NOT from when they're born), but refused to admit it for dozen of years, because they think it would be a bad thing and that they would be rejected by everyone.

But after all who am I to talk about this since I can't really relate the experience of other people.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 4 months later...

Based on my experience, sexuality is not a choice.

I knew I was gay at 12 years old but sadly I could not and did not accept it choosing instead to 'live a lie' of a life until I was 19 years old. So many regrets now.

 

When I came out to my friends, I sadly lost all but one of them to their homophobia and realised that I had only ever had one true friend all along. Fourteen years later and we are still friends today. Thanks for being a mate Andy.

 

Life completely changed for me when I met my boyfriend.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I still can remember a specific guy that really attracted me at the age of 6. At the age of 13 I knew that I was into guys, but I couldn't live with that. I had a suicidal periode, but managed to throw me in something else, sublimating my 'problem'. In my twenties, I knew I had to cope with it: accept myself or kill myself. I chose life ... I came out of the closet at the age of 26

 

Being gay was something that exisited in me from the start, It was never a choice. If I had the choice, I never would have been gay.

 

Too be honest, a lot of the so called 'gay' culture was really the big turn off for me. Gay parades just pushed me back in the closet.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Being gay was something that exisited in me from the start, It was never a choice. If I had the choice, I never would have been gay.

 

Too be honest, a lot of the so called 'gay' culture was really the big turn off for me. Gay parades just pushed me back in the closet.

 

If I could have chosen from the start I would have chosen to be straight too but I think this choice would have been based on nothing more than the belief of an easier life. It certainly isn't fun growing up in a minority group and dealing with the associated fears in relation to society's prejudices. I still find it hard to believe that gay sex was actually a crime in the UK until 1967. Thankfully huge progress in legal equality has been made since then, age of consent, equal rights to adopt, civil partnerships, etc and not just in the UK. This obviously has a positive influence on the young people who are starting to discover their sexuality but sadly far too many teens are still struggling to come to terms with being gay and are choosing suicide because it's easier than accepting who they are. 

 

If I could choose my sexuality today, I would choose to be gay and not just because I have a wonderful boyfriend. I've accepted that it's a fact of my life, I'm very comfortable with who I am and who I choose to sleep with has got nothing to do with anyone else.

 

On the subject of gay culture. I still don't get or fully understand it all, never having gone out on the scene. Why are some people camp for example? I'm not at all femminate and I have nothing against those who are btw but have often wondered if this girly and sometimes outrageous behaviour is a choice. Sagging is the only clue that I might give really good head! :biggrin: 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well I've Always been attracted to guys even in kindergarten. So when I heard about it, I was like, yup that's me alright. Of course I went through period of half denial, stating I was bi, but rooting more for the home team. I came out of the closet as being bi around 13 yrs, Later on after a 3 year long relationship with a girl, I loved but more like a sister than a girlfriend, I broke up with here and I changed to being gay. I wasn't really sexually attracted to her in any way, the only kiss we shared was a quick peck on the cheeks.

 

So, I now know for sure I'm gay. And I'm happy about it. It doesn't make life easier sometimes, seeing I somehow fall for the straight jock type of guy. That and my gaydar is malfuncioning, unfortunately.

 

Back to the real question, I'd say your bi sexual or are like me in reality your gay but doesn't know it yet. I'd say, see for yourself, try to get laid by a gay guy or something. But don't rush it, I did once and I'm affraid of people using me.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 months later...
Guest BigMike513

I've said it before in other forum topics, and it's still true:  I know for me, I've ALWAYS enjoyed looking at guys more than girls.  And, like TombRaider, I can remember that happening in kindergarten.  Hence, I never made a conscious decision to "be gay."  It always just seemed the natural way of things to me.  Then puberty hit and I found out that not everyone thought like I did. . . an embarassing encounter in the middle school locker room and into the closet I went.  Now happily out for many years with a large circle of gay, bi, and straight friends.  Life is good!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Welcome to Saggerworld.com and thanks for popping by. It would be great for you to create a FREE account, However by using this site as a guest, you must still agree to our Terms of Use.