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Rekhel

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Posts posted by Rekhel

    Board Games

    in Off Topic Discussions

    Posted

    lol Monopoly is sooooo long

     

    The one I spoke about, Ghost Stories is a really intersting one in terms of Game Design. The 4 players have to cooperate against the game, but in the end only one wins...so they should cooperate too much :D

    Shoe Collection

    in Off Topic Discussions

    Posted

    I'm 22 yes...Small feet...they won't grow anymore lol

    Maybe I should change my name to "SmallFeet" !

     

    But we're going away from the subject : Flame's shoe collection ! Buy his hoes guys ! This way he will have money to buy new hot stuffs lol

    How To Come Out ?

    in Gay/Bi/Lesbian

    Posted

    Hey :)

     

    We have fantastic guys here, so much experience and good advices !

     

    And like them, I can imagine what you feel (even if we're all different) : my family is still not aware for my being gay.

     

    Some of the guys here how it's a big problem for me and how I can feel about it, but there as things that have been written above that are completely true. This one in particular :

    Most gay-in-the-closed make the step far more bigger than it is!!

     

    For a very long time, I've been alone (in love, but not only that, alone with my secrets thinking te world around me would feel better if my being gay is a secret). I had forbidden myself to love anyone and thought it would be better for me to stay this way all my life, alone and hidden.

    And of course I was wrong. That **** destroyed me, really. I kept it for myself for so long (not that long compared to some others here, but somthing like the quarter of my short life sounds long to me).

    I think I was arrived at a point where I was thinking "I have to tell it to someone, or I kill myself". The thing that made me choose the first option rather than the second one was the fact that I knew how it would kill my mother too as she already lost my sister at his birth day. I saw and heard my mother crying each night for years, and I'll never let anything bring her back in this situation again. So I told some friends and, even if it took me 4 years, I feel good now.

     

    I recently came out to my brother (last Christmas, in his car when going at family to have a delicious meal). This was the "first reachable step in my family" in my mind. Damn, saying the words "I'm not single. I have a boyfriend" was a torture for me. I knew it wouldn't be a problem for him, and I knew that it was more a problem for me...But I was afraid to tell him. He really didn't expected that from me, but you know what ? He doesn't care lol I was kind of disappointed, saying to myself "That's all ? He has nothing to say about it ?".

    The only thing he told me was "You're stupid. You should have told before".

    So, about how to come out, just be natural, don't make it look like your death ceremonial. You can find the words, and there are ways to be less shocking (for example, I think I would prefer say "I'm not interested in girls" or "I'm loving guys" than "I'm gay", because to me, it's softer and lets them think without the "crazy gay fags" prejudices, at least when you pronounce it).

     

    And I think he is right in a certain point of view. Even if I think there is no rush. You have to tell when you feel it's the good moment. I wasn't able to do it before, because I wasn't accepting it fully. But yes, the more you wait, the more it will be hard.

    I waited too much and now I'm nearly unable to change things. My boyfriend and me have been together for 3.5 years now. He came a lot at my mother's house when I was still living there.

    He even lived at my mother's house for 3 months last year as he had his training period near that place. She knows him and likes him, but I'm really sad that I haven't been able to tell her before as she may be disappointed of my lies now, and never considered him the way it should have been.

    3.5 years that he comes at my home and I forbid him to touch me as long as we're not alone together/my mother & brother are sleeping. See where lies brought me, and what I'm imposing to my boyfriend.

     

    You may feel sad if things go wrong with your family, but when you know that people know how you want to live your life (even if they accept it or not), you're more able to live that way because you don't feel like you're always hiding. Conflicts may hurt, but it's more "They don't understand [or accept] who I am" than "I don't assume who I am because they wouldn't understand", which hurts less at long term. You can convince them, they can change their mind whereas you can't change what you feel.

     

    That Christmas was with the "Catholic" side of my family, going at church often and all that stuffs. I was wondering what they would think about it, I knew they were open minded, but wasn't aware about their thoughts about gays.

    So, after telling my brother, I couldn't lie to my cousin when she asked me about an eventual girlfriend...I spoke all night long with her, and was quite surprised to discover that they were the kind of "pro-equality Catholics", supporting gay marriage and all that stuffs.

    In my case, I wasn't sure of what they could think and everything was possible...Yes, everything is possible and sometimes you can be surprised. It may take time, but people can have some surprising behaviours.

     

    One thing that is important I think is not to make it look like an official announcement, do it naturally, and maybe if possible not all at the same time so that they don't attack you from each side if they don't accept what you tell them.

     

    I'm meeting my mother this weekend, and planned to tell her the truth about me because I feel like it's time to live my life as I want. I'm bored of feeling guilty and lying, hiding to preserve others and the equilibrium of my world, because this in not my world, it's the world they built for me, which is clearly not what I need.

     

    Being afraid and sad is normal in this situation, but I can swear you that life's worth it :)

     

    I am feeling good, I even created a 18+ sagging video website to prevent our community from becoming crazy after the announcement of the former site closing. I am happy with my boyfriend, and I want everyone to know that.

     

    I'm sure you're a nice guy, smart, and charming. So yes, you definitely have to be who you are.

    You know what you could loose, but you still don't know what you will win.

    You'll feel free, strong, and alive.

     

    :)

    • Like 3

    Gay?

    in Gay/Bi/Lesbian

    Posted

    I think I always knew that I was gay (it has always been in my mind that Iwould love a guy more than a girl), or at least like Franky said when I learnt what it was about.

     

    Finally sort of accepted it when I was 18 (yes, it was long) when meeting my boyfriend for the first time, after long times being depressed (and alone with my secrets).

    Felt better about it around 20, and came out to my brother last Christmas, at the age of 22...The rest of my family is still not aware, but for those who know me a bit, it's a huge step lol

     

    So, it was not an "eureka" at all, but not something easy and natural at all ^^

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