Avido

Sweeeet! Guys in pink undies are sooo hot! That was amazing, especially with that proto-boner thing going on. Deffo jacking to that when I get the chance!! Thanks Flamey!

Cum on Treborneans what is it??

Lee, I did the "are you bisexual" quiz on bisexual.com recently:

question 1: are you attracted to people of more than one gender?

Question 2: there is no question 2

Answers: if you replied yes to question 1, then yes you are infact bisexual.

Simple see!

This pros and cons thing is really interesting. I could write an essay on it. So I think I will.

I realise that Fabik's original list isn't meant to be take seriously but the line that really jumps out at me is the "don't you dare say: just wait and eventually you'll Figure out the right choice."

Previously I have tried to decide which way to go and attempted to work out wether I preferred boys or girls but have recently come to the conclusion that there's little point in trying to "sort out my feelings" as I am, in fact, strongly attracted to both and it isn't going to change.

 I recently discovered the website bisexual.com which makes an attempt to explain bisexuality to heterosexuals. The explanation goes something like: some guys prefer blondes and some prefer brunettes. And some guys like both - and no-one makes a big deal out of that. So analogously, some guys sleep with girls, some sleep with guys and some like to do both - so that should be no big deal either.

To a "mono"-sexual (either straight or gay) I imagine that explanation might work. In my case however it doesn't really seem to work. True, I am attracted to boyish girls and the less macho guys but my sexuality doesn't seem to be a continuum. It feels more like a split personality thing. 

It would certainly simplify life if I could just made a decision and stick with it. I'm very happy with my GF and I'm sure I could do the husband/father lifestyle no problem. Yet on the the other hand, I'm so attracted to guys I know it's not something I could control, and certainly not something I could decide to switch off. I've been faithful to my GF for a few years now (ok you guys - give or take the odd bit of cybersex) and am completely happy with being just with her. The fantasies of gay sex never stop though.  This again is a slightly different situation from a straight married guy who lusts after other women. (As surely all straight men/women in a long term relationship do that from time to time.) My fantasies involve not just other partners but kind of involve a different feeling altogether. 

I'm struggling to describe this but it comes back to feeling like a slightly different person depending which "mode" I'm in. Perhaps a bit like being top or bottom mode?

Anyway, back to Fabik's list: Cons of being gay first.

Less accepted : this is a good one to start with. I suppose it is true that some people find it difficult to accept anyone who sees the world differently but not being accepted by the narrow minded is advantageous. It means that we (gay or bi) have to waste a lot less time with the dull and tedious. Personally I have always found it difficult to be friends with straight men. I either find them really dull (honestly they don't have the ability to chat about nothing!) or they have oddly obsessive interests: football, fishing, car engines, whatever - what's that all about) So I either get bored by them or start to fancy them, either way it doesn't work out great.

Not having the ability to have children.  Yes, this is a tough one and to be fair, as a bisexual, I don't feel qualified to comment on it. However, expectation that everyone should get married and have kids is a relatively modern expectation.  A hundred or so years ago, when families were much larger and extended families lived either together or nearby, it was very common to have maiden aunts and unmarried uncles on the family tree.  Presumably a fair number of these people had little interest in the opposite sex and nobody thought much about it. Perhaps their celibacy was even admired? They were nevertheless involved in family life and probably had much to contribute, and get from, helping bring up their sibling's children.

Getting old and being alone with your partner could become boring. Well I suppose it could and I suspect it does for lots of people, gay or straight. With straight couples perhaps their children and grandchildren might liven things up for them but equally they might just be irritating. Not being bored is more a state of mind than having family to entertain us. In my work I come across a lot of elderly people. One of the most interesting and lively is a lesbian lady in her seventies who teaches rock and roll drumming to school kids and earns pocket money by drumming in a band on a cruise ship. Contrast her with any over-fed grandad who sits around watching the telly with his wife or worse still spends his days on a golf course to avoid her.

Fascinating on straight guys: This is not a negative. On the whole straight guys are completely oblivious of gay guys ogling them! To a straight man the whole concept of gayness is so alien that they actually don't believe it possible. 99.99% of the time it's ok to ogle any guy. Ogling women is much more dangerous. They suspect all men are just waiting to pounce on them and are suspicious of all men. They secretly like being lusted after but watch out any man they suspect of it. (Yes, women are very hard to understand. See below)

Homosexuality is less common and therefore there's less chance of finding the right partner. There are clubs and websites for us (Hurray!) I reckon we could fill our lives with gay friends if we really wanted to but in reality we only get to meet so many members of the opposite anyway. 

Snoring - yes this could be a real problem.  Perhaps American right-wing churches in the bible belt should use this as the main reason not to be gay. "God Hates Gays - He Will Make Your Boyfriend Snore. Repent Sinners!"

More unfaithful - Hmmm. Just an thought but might this be due to men tending to be less monogamous than women, for obvious seed-scattering biological reasons. Also, the lack of offspring means gays don't do that "staying together for the sake of the children" thing. Then again, since men are biologically programmed to be less faithful, perhaps not being with 'clingy' women might be a good thing!

Can't change your mind back to "Not Being Out". Easy solution to this one - come out but come out as bi - no need to make your mind up ever! Extra benefit to this is women will empathise - they're always changing their minds too...

This could go on and on and I haven't even got to the "pros" of a gay life-style yet.  I might get round to that some other time. 

Avido x

Rupert was in a play for TV in the UK a couple of years back. I seem to remember he played a young virgin character who got laid by some older girl. There were few scenes where he had his shirt off. And again, I wouldn't say he's good looking, but there's certainly something about him. Don't think I'd be saying no to him if I was given the chance!

No don't think Daniel Radcliffe is hot at all, but bizarrely I do find Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley) strangely attractive, although no one could describe him as good looking. I think it's probably his red hair. I've always had a soft spot for redheads.

When I was 19 or 20 I was mistaken for a rent boy as I walked past a city centre amusement arcade. This guy of about 30 came up to me and started telling me that he thought I was good looking and so on. At the time I was genuinely confused and just walked away only to find out about 2 weeks later that the arcade was a hot bed of rent boy activity!

I've kinda had a hankering to find out what would have happened if I'd gone with the guy...

In my fantasty he takes me back to his place and I sit him down and then strip very slowly while he watches. I tease him for about an hour with out letting him touch me then **** on him while he's still dressed and finally act like a complete slut and let him do what he wants with me.

(Wonder where he is now??)

Yup! I agree with Flameboard. Best story on SW. Well done Guest! I really enjoyed all of it!

There's more. Great news!

Loved every minute of reading this. It's a pity stories have to end! Brilliantly done. Hope there's going to be another one soon!

Yeah that was really great! Thanks for that flamey. Just gotta wait for this boner to go away now!

Ross of the 'Elliot' stories comes out to his parents in the new episode. He finds it a bit traumatic. How was it when you told yours? Have you told your parents? How did they take it?

Basque!

Jesus!

Nope, nor me neither!

You know funny. I was watching Chris the gay character in Neighbours last night and the thought crossed my mind that it must be much less hassle to just be gay.  Hmmm. 

As it happens I didn't tell her about it because we were busy getting to Departures, Duty Free etc and things just moved on. I did consider telling her and It's one of those things that she would "roll her eyes about" as I put it in my interview. Luckily we both usually fancy the same guys!

I totally had a moment just like the above, in a most unlikely situation just yesterday, so I thought I'd share it with you:

Coming home from holiday my girlfriend and I were having our passports examined by an Immigration Officer. As he was checking her passport I noticed he  did the 'checking out' look on a cute guy who walked past. As the Immigration Officer was actually quite cute himself I automatically (and this is virtually automatic for me now) checked out the same guy making sure the Immigration Officer was looking at me while I did it.  I then turned to look at the Officer and gave him a subtle look that said 'Yeah, you're right he is cute' (ie look him in the eye, smile just slightly and very slightly raise eyebrows - whatever - you'll figure out what I mean). The Officer positively beamed back at me and I think he nearly winked before remembering he was meant to be a serious official. He didn't look at my passport, just stamped it and waved me through!

Of course there was no follow up as I immediately left the country ( with my GF for goodness sake! lol!) but the next step is just to naturally - and there's no hurry here - move to chat and get to know him. If he's interested he'll be keen to get to know you. 

Good luck with practising! 

Definitely not 'too gay'. Still loving it!

Dream... (of Lee, running... )

Money

Perhaps I'm being too sensitive and whining too much about this. I just wondered if anyone had any suggestions. 

It can be quite funny sometimes. Good example was when I told colleagues that the GF and I had been to see 'Single Man'. (You know it? Tom Ford film with Colin Firth and astonishingly hot Nicholas Holt). Anyway, workmates start saying "Oh who been to see a chick-flick" etc. When I replied "Nah, not a chick-flick. It's a gay-flick." there was total stunned silence. Quite funny really. 

Thanks for the advice lads. I just need to care less!

This is great! The detail of what's going on in his mind is fantastic. I can really identify with the adolescent gay angst. You really should think seriously about publishing this as a Kindle e-book or something. 

I'm wishing you luck Lee!

Made a bit of a **** of myself by not reading the bit about your Cheeky Chappie being homophobic. That makes a difference of course!

In that case, and as long as you're sure that is the case - it's not just part of his Jack the Lad persona for the rest of the straight lads - there is nothing much to be done. It hurts, it sucks but that's life and it happens to us all - gay,bi or straight.